The Betsy Scrivener

Learning through Grief

Brittany Thurman, Staff Reporter

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Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.

Matthew 19:13-14

 

Death and then grief. Grieving is a part of life most all are bound to experience. Losing a loved one is not something that goes away; grief lasts forever. Each individual has their own way of coping with a loss, and a lot of the time friends and family are there to lend a hand. In some cases help is wanted, but sometimes help from others isn’t wanted.

“There’s been an accident.”  Those are the words a father had to hear from his fellow co-workers and friends; He didn’t think a call directed for him to return to the airport would be about his son Danny. Danny had reportedly had  a gun accident and didn’t make it. He was a child who had a whole life ahead of him, but came to a tragic end at the age of 14. Dan Mills and Dale Mills, the father and mother of 14 year old Danny, never expected their son to be taken before them. When asked how he made it through such a tragic ordeal, his answer was simply “My Faith in God”.

While dealing with their loss, Mr. and Mrs. Mills stayed strong for their two younger children,Kimberley,12, and Jon,6,who was at  home during the time of the accident. The youngest son stated Danny had “ gone into Mom and Dad’s room” and shortly after he heard  a loud noise. No child should have to deal with that, but young Jon followed in his father’s footsteps by staying strong through the grace of God.

Mr. Mills also said that reading a scripture a day helps him remember how he was that  day.He said it was “bizarre as to how relevantly he could relate to something that was written over 2,00 years ago”. Aside from his faith  in God, friends were also a big help. Mills said,” Some even volunteered to stay the night”. The friends continued their blessings on the family as the Mills were a big part in their community.

Dan knew he would someday see  his son again , but for now his relationship with God and Jesus is keeping him strong. “ We were convinced that one day we would see him again; It’s kind of like that year we spent in Indonesia, you want to be home  with your family but you just can’t,” said Mills. He stated that he didn’t know how people that lose children and don’t have faith in God make it through, but that’s how he made it.God made it possible for Mr. Mills to accept what had happened to his dear son; it wasn’t easy but his relationship with God made him stronger. He knew that God had a plan, and if God’s plan was to take Danny, though it was hard, he accepted.

Another way that he dealt with it,and still does , is by talking about the great joy Danny brought while he was still here. At some point it does become emotional, but tears are part of the healing process. “ I can  talk with some people and feel like they really bond with what I’m saying and I can go through it very easily; I become emotional and it brings tears but that brings validity to the person I think,” said Mills.

The aftermath of losing a child is very emotional; sometimes you wonder if its a dream. Mills stated that he enjoyed going to the cemetery, but Dale knew he wasn’t really there. His body was, but not him. Everyone is different and you don’t know how to deal with what’s going on until you go through it.

To this day, Mr. and Mrs. Mills are a  strong, thriving family. Even though Danny does cross their minds sometimes, they still know he’s better with God. He did a lot of good and people will remember him for that. They have beautiful grandchildren although they lost a few when they lost Danny. “ I miss him, but I know he wouldn’t want to come back,” said Dale.

“ The good out of this loss is that we can help others,”said  Dan Mills. The Mills are the kindest people and have been a blessing to many including myself. Their faith in God i everlasting and powerful, and because of that, they made it through. His personal tragedy has touched many lives.

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Learning through Grief